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| nothing to do just bored... the past few days has been really hard for me... to much stress and some probs at home... but thanks to GOD it is solved already and hopefully it will continue to being better... i was left alone and i have left them... the most painful part was that the people i left were there waiting for me to come back and the person i left for was never there to stay... instead left me hangin... anyway cant blame anyone... it was all my fault... its all on me...i cant change anybody and nobody can change me... i have made good and bad choices and the concequences are on me and not anyone else... i hvae to be responsible of it.... work got me really tired and stressful... just recently i had a fever,, cough and stuffy nose.. and right now... at this very moment im typing... my nose is bleeding... **eeewww** anyways i just need some more time to rest i guess... even though it was not that busy at the restaurant today still it was tiring... have u ever worked like it was the most boring day ever... together with the tireness and loneliness...?? OMG its like a nightmare!!hahaha... | | |
| what's goin on with me?? i cant work without u on my mind... i cant escape the fact that its breaking us... i have fallen in love too deep and its making me so weak!! to ate kate: thanks so much for everything... its hard but i hvaae to be strong... we're just having some difficulties... but im still hoping and praying that everything will be fine... that he will be back to me... and just for me | | |
| today is really tiring... well in any kind of job it is...but today was different... not enough rest yesterday then 6 was not talking to me...it was really hard to concentrate on my task...i felt like i was gonna faint i felt like crying but no tears would fall...i went to lunch by myself... 6 asked for some space and i gave it...he was really sad today i can feel it...it was all because of me...and i hate seeing him like that...he is a happy person and he make me laugh all the time...there was not a day that i would not smile coz of him...i felt really bad about what i did...then after my lunch i went for a smoke...and he was there but i didnt come to him... only when he left to change the uniform.. he came to me and tried to hug me but i was not in the mood... what he told me hurts... (he couldnt make any fucking decision) i wanna let go... i wanna have him with me all the time... but i cant... why?? is he still in love with her??coz i know she is in love with him...whatever happened in their past i cant forget it... they were so happy... can i ever replace her?? can i be higher than her?? i know i dont have to be... but i have to cover some things to forget...its really hard.... its still fresh to him... and it really hurts me...i thought i could go on without him... but i couldnt... i went home with him we tried to forget everything... but when he was sleeping i cant stop to think why am i like this?? what is wrong with me?? im the one with him now... i have to make it up to him... im the one beside him now...why cant i stop thinking??will it always be like this? when will this end?? all the confusing memories... all the lies that was made to me...im happy with him but when i see their pictures... i just cant stop to think...im goin crazy!! i love him... and i know he loves me too... i wanna make everything just fine... i have to forget... i have to let go of their past... im the only one trying to bring it back... and he doesnt even care about her anymore... they are fds... but for her its so much more than that! im so sorry ~~!! i wanna be with you and just you...!! i wanna forget what you have in the past!! pls help me... its you that i think of... the one i wanna be with the one i wanna see everyday... the one i wanna spend my every minute... you are the one i love!!~~ | | |
| what is it that i did for you to play me this way...all i ever wanted was to love and be loved and all im getting is pain... yes i am happy with u but whenever we are together is it just me who's there in your mind?? or is it her thats always in there??i have so many questions i wanna ask and i cant stop myself to think that you rae just same like the others who broke my heart...what am i to you??who am i to you?? i love you and this 1 thing i know is true but now that its too late for me to know i hvae fallen deeply in love and once again was broken apart... i have no more feeling about my life... i got so numb i cant even cry even my heart is screaming out!!i want this to end... the pain the sadness...all that's killing me...its too much i cant handle it... its too much its making me weak... i though you loved me... i thought you were true to me... but what is it now??i have no idea thanks for nothing! | | |
| "To love is not to look at one another, But to look together in the same direction." - Antoine de Saint (Exupery) how many times did it ever cross ur mind that once a girl starts to fall in love she loses everything she's got...why??cuz when love hits u,, u cant just remain in the same direction of being just the old you,, you will change in the point of view of the one you desire and the one u desire will make ur whole world...once u fins ur great escape, you'll find urself thinking the way ur partner does....hurts but true... | | |
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